class outing was awesome. it was just like old times, really, screwing around, joking with each other, and non-stop amusement. there was always someone available for me to talk to, no inhibitions, so to speak. lonny doing god-knows-what with the salt (or pepper?) and then vigorously rubbing you-know-where. or damn near ordering his 39++ seafood platter for 2, and then literally becoming the centre of attention promptly after everyone finished their food and was still feeling hungry and greedy. attendance of about, what, 15 people? quite a good turnout i guess. a pity kieran couldn't come, or else all hell would have broken loose^^
on a more personal level, it was really good to be "belonged" in a long time. as in, in recent times, i have been utilising my vast network of contacts (that sounds cooler and colder than it really is ._.) to spend time and gain company, something which can more or less be considered a success. its not that i treat all my friends as mere tools whose sole purpose is to keep me company, but just that its a positive externality. but even so, while i belong everywhere, i don't belong anywhere. i'm intruding on some distinct entity most of the time, to be honest, and sometimes it does get a tad awkward. i don't really have a choice in the matter, with the alternative being a hermit and spend all my time in the ish playing floorball.
which is actually good if i actually want to make the team and then win something.
but while 4K and the 4Kers were an excellent reprieve from the harsh realities of life, that's what it has become: a mere reprieve as compared to the reality of life that it was before. after this water break (albeit a zomgwtfbbqsauce refreshing one), it is time to return to the court/field/track/trail/you-get-my-point.
i was trying to frame the whole issue as a game, seeing how its something i'm most comfortable with. like with an objective, rules, and then working round the rules to achieve the objectives, whatever the means.
but i ran into problems with this definition. what is its purpose? i can't see what. what is the whole bloody point? in a warped way the means is the ends in itself, but to take it as the ends would be so shallow and, well, pointless. its akin to playing football with no goal posts. you could argue how the ends is the means in itself, say, to keep possession of the ball. but possession with no end product is just retarded. possession should be a means to the ends of scoring goals and winning games, and never the ends in itself.
so with the whole question of what is the point hanging over my head, it then begs the question how do i know i have won/lost or whether i am winning/losing? i know i have won in football if i score more goals than the opposition by 90 minutes, or i am winning when i've scored more at a certain point in time. but in this case, what are the parameters? what does it mean to win, or attain the upper hand? what, then, should i do, if i do not even know my objectives, let alone trying to attain "them", whatever "them" might be.
i am thus forced to ask myself: does this even qualify as a game? if it doesn't, what the hell am i playing/doing and why?
there, i've stepped out of my comfort zone by defining it as a non-game.
but like religion, i cannot choose not to play. its like not making a decision on whether God exists, because leading life in itself is an expression of your decision, whatever it may be, however you wish to think and delude yourself. this, incidentally, forms the premise of Pascal's Wager.
i am thus shoved back into the field, with my back against the wall, and the world against me. i am reminded of Sir Alex's use of the siege mentality to inspire man utd, convincing them basically that the whole world hates them and everyone wants them to lose, from the FA to the referees and all the way down to the lad in the street.
however, it was meant to bond the team together. in this particular match, i'm alone. telling van der Sar the world hates him doesn't make him save more shots and possess faster reflexes, i think.
come to think of it, i can choose not to play. why not? if you want to score against me, so be it. i don't give a shit. if you wish to slide the ball from beneath my feet and send me to the hospital on the way, i will just jump out of the way and let you have it. in this scenario, the ball is a non-issue. it has no relevance if i do not deem it as having any relevance or importance in my life. yet again, its all a matter of perception.
As Sampdoria forward Antonio Cassano aptly puts it, "'The problem is that we live in a culture obsessed with success. We fool ourselves into thinking we have to do our best and make sacrifices to succeed. But why? Trophies come and go. Once you've retired, it will all be gone, they'll just be numbers in an almanac. And, except for [Diego] Maradona and Pelé and maybe a couple of others, nobody will remember you or what you've won. What is truly important is being happy now."
I admit, a tad out of context, but what he said really struck me. Its funny where I get my inspirations and directions in life. People read quotes of famous people, look to the stars, etc. Me? I get inspirational quotes from this bad boy of Italian football, the one with tattoos all over his body.
Nais.
Game on.
Face-off.
micronesiarox
navigate by hitting the right notes
by sean
Y O U T U B E L O V E
just for laughs
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
hi i'm sean and i play floorball
S E V E N T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18, actually
ONE Raffles Floorball 2010 TWO 4K'08 THREE Raffles X-Country 2008 FOUR Manchester United FIVE Andrei Arshavin SIX Johan Cruyff SEVEN Total Football 1974 EIGHT adidas NINE Kareem Abdul-Jabbar TEN Sarah Brightman ELEVEN Juan Roman Riquelme TWELVE Josh Groban THIRTEEN Eng Shou Jian FOURTEEN Goh Jun Yong FIFTEEN Kieran Ram Chandra SIXTEEN Lim Jian Xiong SEVENTEEN Thia Shan Zhi
T O D O L I S T
driving license
A levels
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
Game on
11:53 pm - Monday, October 12, 2009
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