just came back from a long run. an hour's run to be exact. started at a really comfortable pace and though aerobically i was doing quite well, but by half an hour my legs were begining to ache. i guess my legs are still not used to the strain yet. now they are throbbing pretty badly, and from experence it can only get worse. i ran all the way to bukit batok, near bukit gombak mrt, about 2 mrt stops worth of distance, quite near to cdans. why did i run there? natural gravitation perhaps.
i like running. suprising it may sound, but i would say its a by-product of being in cross-country. then why am i quiting cross? well, i don't like running for my life. there's a difference, a clear distinction. i like to run at night, when the air is cool, and the moon is out, and all the lights are on. it is definitely less tiring to run at night. there are also lesser distractions, giving you more time to reflect and think, while the wind rustles in your ears.
it has been a very emotionally draining day to say the least. there's no external conflict, but rather its all internal, which sorts of makes it worse. if its external at least there's an output. but since its all internal, there's no output, but things just keeps going around in circles, a never-ceasing cycle of questioning, requestioning and thorough examination. yet i'm still left without an answer. topics like existentialism, fate and life were examined and examined again, though i came out no wiser than i did before. but is there an answer to start with? or is it greeky all over again, when my hamartia condemns me to start with. its like trying to argue on both sides of a möbius strip, only to realise, that at the end of the day, it is all but one thing. the same thing.
i have been through this countless times, but everytime the pain stings as though it is a fresh wound. it is not; rather, an old wound that has been cut opened, healed, and cut open again. the healing is but a temporary respite, a breather, a minor victory in a battle, but ultimately the war is still in the doldrums, very much still to be won.
it is impossible to be a perfect person. but it is indeed possible to be a perfect person for another person. that's all i aim to be. but would that be truly me?
micronesiarox
navigate by hitting the right notes
by sean
Y O U T U B E L O V E
just for laughs
P R O F I L E
me myself and i :D
hi i'm sean and i play floorball
S E V E N T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am 18, actually
ONE Raffles Floorball 2010 TWO 4K'08 THREE Raffles X-Country 2008 FOUR Manchester United FIVE Andrei Arshavin SIX Johan Cruyff SEVEN Total Football 1974 EIGHT adidas NINE Kareem Abdul-Jabbar TEN Sarah Brightman ELEVEN Juan Roman Riquelme TWELVE Josh Groban THIRTEEN Eng Shou Jian FOURTEEN Goh Jun Yong FIFTEEN Kieran Ram Chandra SIXTEEN Lim Jian Xiong SEVENTEEN Thia Shan Zhi
T O D O L I S T
driving license
A levels
T A G B O A R D
yakkity yak yak
11:55 pm - Saturday, September 13, 2008
1:53 am
anagnorisis.
déjà vu.
that same, sinking feeling.
the thought struck me the moment the first dawn appeared. whatever and however the sun shone later just reminded me what it was like before, in nights past, when eclipses happened. what i had thought was gone, in hope and for a long time, had suddenly, in a sweeping movement consisting of 46 different units, returned like a phantom menace.
it was an illusion. not one which was cast in front of me, but rather one which i casted upon myself. i believed what i wanted to believe, instead of what was reality and should be believed. i'm an escapist of sorts. rationality always endeared to me dearly, something which i prouded myself upon. but at the end of the day, like what Swift says, humans are inherently flawed. true, it is these flaws that help hummanity hit the heights that are dazzling to say the least, but it is also these flaws that make us, make me, such a naive and inadequate person.
true, i'm not the only inadequate person. every one is, in some way or another. but while your strengths help you achieve, your flaws will always fail you in achievement. its these failures that really matter, that casts a monstrous shadow of whatever achievements you may get. you should know a lost cause when you see one, but this fatal flaw we call hubris prevents you from knowing this, and instead, increases your self-belief. but we all know that the greater the pride, the greater the fall. and with this, when peripeteia happens, overwhelming catharsis is inevitable.
i admit, unlike shanzhi, that joke-telling is not my forte. i accept it, and i move on. i acknowledge that jonathan lian is the world's greatest exponent of murphy's law, and i can never match up to that. i offer a very different yet earnest proposition. a very modest proposal. the importance of this is unrated and unappreciated now, but it is my sincere belief that maturity will come to every man one day, and it is on that fateful day that perseverance would have its last laugh.
but until then, we live to fight, and die another day.
déjà vu.
that same, sinking feeling.
the thought struck me the moment the first dawn appeared. whatever and however the sun shone later just reminded me what it was like before, in nights past, when eclipses happened. what i had thought was gone, in hope and for a long time, had suddenly, in a sweeping movement consisting of 46 different units, returned like a phantom menace.
it was an illusion. not one which was cast in front of me, but rather one which i casted upon myself. i believed what i wanted to believe, instead of what was reality and should be believed. i'm an escapist of sorts. rationality always endeared to me dearly, something which i prouded myself upon. but at the end of the day, like what Swift says, humans are inherently flawed. true, it is these flaws that help hummanity hit the heights that are dazzling to say the least, but it is also these flaws that make us, make me, such a naive and inadequate person.
true, i'm not the only inadequate person. every one is, in some way or another. but while your strengths help you achieve, your flaws will always fail you in achievement. its these failures that really matter, that casts a monstrous shadow of whatever achievements you may get. you should know a lost cause when you see one, but this fatal flaw we call hubris prevents you from knowing this, and instead, increases your self-belief. but we all know that the greater the pride, the greater the fall. and with this, when peripeteia happens, overwhelming catharsis is inevitable.
i admit, unlike shanzhi, that joke-telling is not my forte. i accept it, and i move on. i acknowledge that jonathan lian is the world's greatest exponent of murphy's law, and i can never match up to that. i offer a very different yet earnest proposition. a very modest proposal. the importance of this is unrated and unappreciated now, but it is my sincere belief that maturity will come to every man one day, and it is on that fateful day that perseverance would have its last laugh.
but until then, we live to fight, and die another day.
A R C H I V E S
wasting my life away
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