yay lets blog. In proper English. Yes I think I shall do just that.

First and foremost, lets reflect on the progress of my revision. I have more or less finished history, am halfway through mathematics, but have not even started on economics and literature. I am in deep shit. I have been studying at home these 2 days, but my efficiency as far as this location of study is concerned is on the low side. There is so many forms of entertainment at home to distract me from studying, like the computer, playstation 2, wii, tv and my bed. But then again, they could only be distractions because I tell myself they are distractions; I cannot focus at home because I tell myself I cannot focus. See, this is one instance in which the battle is really in the mind.

My knees are as bad as they have ever been. Last week, when I went to the cage, after 5 minutes of play, they started to hurt. Both knees. It reached a point that with every twist and turn I took, I could feel something in the knees. I could not run without it hurting before long. It was not excruciating pain, but pronounced enough to cause me discomfort and distract me from playing. After half an hour of play, the pain disappeared, without me knowing when.

It is not that I have not done something about it. I went to see the bone specialist (whatever you call it) at NUH at the start of the year. X-ray, bone scan, I did it all. Verdict was nothing's wrong. The next step would be to take an MRI scan, which will cost a few 100 dollars. I doubt its worth it, seeing how there's no form of treatment for what I suspect it is: the wearing out of the cartilage.

See, it is a legacy of my running days. Lots of mileage covered, lots of wear and tear of my cartilage. But I'm curious as to this. In running years, I am only 3 years old, way too early to feel the after-effects. Moreover, I did not run a lot compared to others. Like say long run, everytime I run a maximum of 14km, normally 12km only. But zhiming normally runs 14km, and sometimes it goes up to 18km. And he's still running now! So I really don't know why.

And I still got 1 more year of floorball, plus NS. This is way to early to stop running completely. I already stopped running since the 2.4km test, which was 2 months ago. I thought this rest might do my knees some good, but the first time I play football again, the pain returned.

Speaking of football, it is a pain in the ass. I do not even enjoy playing it now, because it actually hurts to play it, and everytime I play it is a reminder to myself as to how much I have regressed. A very hurtful one. Control not there, first touch awful, positioning poor, no stamina, no speed, no game sense. And I still can't shoot without spraining my foot. I think I was a better player when I was 14. Quite sad right. It is like how my 2.4 time in sec 3 is faster than what I can run now.

Basically I am on the wane. Physically, intellectually, and spiritually. That's like, everything. Fml.