i went to run just now, as part of my goal to break the world 5000m record by next year. just joking, but anyway, after running, i went to the park with the intention of doing my exercises under the void deck. but i was dripping wet with sweat so i decided to just laze around and watch 3 indians and a middle aged chinese man play badminton. watching them play made me try to recall when i last played (with hern wei in the ahh last year).

the chinese man then went up to me and asked me to play, cause he was tired and needed to rest. itching for a bit of action, i said ok, fine, i play. though i partnered the best player, we, i mean, I, got owned. i couldn't even hit the shuttlecock properly to serve.my reflexes were slow, despite me being like twice as young as them, my smashes were weak, so on so forth.

so much for being a sporty person, eh?

HONG KONG — Superstitious bloggers have linked China's earthquake disaster and other recent misfortunes to the Beijing Olympics' five mascots, a Hong Kong newspaper reported on Friday.

.Gossip sites are full of speculation that four of the five mascots have fulfilled prophesies of doom with one more, connected to the mighty Yangtze River, ominously still to come, the South China Morning Post said.

.The five Olympic mascots are Huanhuan, Yingying, Nini, Beibei and Jingjing — a panda, the animal most closely associated with Sichuan province where the earthquake struck.

.Huanhuan, a character with flame hair, is being linked to the Olympic torch which has been dogged by fierce anti-China protests on its round-the-world tour. Yingying, an antelope, is an animal confined to the borders of Tibet which has been the scene of riots and the cause of international protests against China. Nini, represented by a kite, is being viewed as a reference to the "kite city" of Weifang in Shandong province where China saw a deadly train crash last month.

.That leaves only Beibei, represented by a sturgeon fish, which online doomsayers suggest could indicate a looming disaster in the Yangtze River, the only place where Chinese sturgeon are found. — dpa

its a conspiracy theory, but isn't too similar for comfort? i mean, things could have like gone wrong at places where the risk of mishaps happening is higher, like say taiwan, or beijng itself. but szechuan? lol.

hey all especially those who tagged, ok make that only those who tagged =), thank you for your words of encouragement. i'm feeling better, really.

my family conflict is now resolved, thrown to the bin of history. yup, so there's that. it wasn't the first, and i bet my soccer boots that it wouldn't be the last. the crucial thing is that i must keep a cool and calm head the next time it happens. i must also stop crying to easily, i'm 16 already for goodness sake.

saturday as part of re i went to east coast park to help man a booth by s'pore art museum at a mendaki-organised aka malay carnival. cho-han and i got jacked damn badly by the buses at bedok interchange, i was in half a mind to just go home. first we went to the directory board to read and find out which bus to take, and so after a while, we realised, ok we can take 197. so we went to the 197 parking lot and realised it was leaving. so we ran to the bus and waved at the bus driver to stop for us. being the friendly guy that all bus drivers are, he waved back. but being the wierdo/wacko that he is, that's all he did. off he went on his journey to the west. we repeated the above scenario twice, and before ending up waiting 20mins for the bus. oh, did i mention the 3 buses came at the same time the next time?

we arrived there 45mins late but when we reached there were some poly student volunteers already manning the booths so cho-han, samuel tan and myself just went to stone around for a hour. later when we finally had to man the booth we were joined by zaki.

something weird happened there. zaki and i were manning the booth when suddenly 3 random malay teens just walked to us and said,"you know, who are so jealous of you." i just looked at zaki and gave him the puzzled look. they went on to say,"here you all have chairs, in the shade and a fan. but at our booth we have no chairs, no fan and in the sunlight. so if you all need any help to man the booths, you can tell us." i was like, erm, okayyyy, so random. oh and they didn't think zaki was malay, because they spoke in english. haha, this is just a random paragraph. my thoughts are kinda loose and floating at the moment.

i went to play football with my brother just now, just the two of us, at a street soccer court that didn't have the lights turned on. we played 1v1 and just ran up and down aimlessly. he reminds me a bit of myself, couldn't hit the ball with enough power, because, well, i didn't have strength. so we were similar in strength, of lackthereof, but i think technically i was a better player. i was definitely faster, cause his sprinting was quite inefficient, lots of loud stomping but little distance.

i spent the hour just shooting and shooting, correcting my own technique before correcting his. i just needed to kick a ball, a confidence booster, after that disastrous fiasco that was 4I. credit to them, they played ok, and fully deserved to win, seeing how we didn't. but i was especially displeased with myself. i played like a n0ob who has never seen a ball in his life. commiting challenges all over the place. commiting was still ok, but commiting yet not winning the ball? pure criminal. waiting to get owned. demanding to get owned. i pity poor daniel, covering up for all the crap i was doing. in fact i think i was performing the worst on the pitch, i really should have taken myself off.

i have no idea what gives people the impression that i'm a good player. wait, maybe i just think that people think i'm a good player. being the arrogant and proud person that i am, that wouldn't be the biggest suprise in the world. compared to the rest i'm kinda crap. i can't head, i'm slow, i'm weak, i can't dribble, my shots aren't powerful, my anticipation and vision are sorely lacking too. compared to people like theo and timo i'm some dwarf. at least they have some use. me? i've none.

i think i should seriously consider the possibility of dropping myself. give the spot to someone better and more deserving.