but no, really, it was more than that. ok, i did more or less play football the whole day. from 11.45am to 1pm i was playing for my place in the hci-match team, in which we all know that, really, trial or no trial, people like eugene would get in and daniel wouldn't. and at press time i still do not know whether i'm in the team or not. seeing how i made the ortega team, and seeing how the player pool for the hci-match is smaller (student leaders only), i should by right make the team. but seeing how pranav, manish, yinrong and saiful are choosing the team, i really don't think there can be much guarantees.
so moving on, my afternoon was spent at sentosa. or rather, getting to sentosa. reason? cross-country team outing! in reality not really team as in team team but in name and association only. i mean, half the team didn't turn up but the people i'm close to in cross did turn up, save for a certain limzm. of course, that's after an interesting organisation method, comprising of firstly a lie, then a threat, by none other than our captain cheese, which would more often not bring about the agreement of the threatened and lied to come (think zhujie). incidentally we only really started calling people at 10.30pm the previous night.
so off to tanjong beach we went, bickering and teasing each other on the way (sentosa xpress, the monorail). the first game we played there was the stripping game. surprisingly a large number of people were rather unwilling to shed their shirts, seeing how the last time we went there we didn't have to play this game. but for the sake of all our tan lines, we, the enlightened ones, had to do something. in the end everyone did so, with wizard wong the last man standing, after a 30sec chase by the whole cross-country team, half-naked of course.
basically we just played football, 6-a-side, in some very coarse sand which left my feet filled with cuts. then swam to the deserted island and back, drinking lots of saltwater on the way. then we just hung around the coastline, talking nonsense, taupok, discussing seow's and samsoh's extra curricular activities, before leaving the beach. then we went to vivo and ate at carl's jr. oh and i found out the beef chilli cheese fries there are very nice indeed. then we went to the roof of vivo and played the "i've never" game again, in which we accused/caught cheese at lying at nearly every girl-related statement. haha typical. 4K we should play this game soon.
i really loved the atmosphere then, the view of sentosa and the sea in the backdrop, with lots of breeze, lighting was limited which made for a really cozy and fuzzy feeling. we all sat in a circle, responding to jesting and accusations spontaneously. the kind of TRUST that we've in each other that we were ready to disclose our secrets (most of us at any rate). really, this is what cross-country and cca should be about. not fighting for stupid positions of authority within a hierachy that you wouldn't remember at all ten years later, nor blaming each other for the team's failure, and definitely not just all about completing 12km in 48mins. rather, of joy, bonding and love.
upon reflection, it is really times like these which made my 4 years in cross-country a memorable one, not so much of whether we did win any title or not. i love the team spirit, the sense of bonding that we all had, and i know i will really miss it in due course. i was really determined to quit cross-country last year. i told myself, ok, i'm going to train real hard and take good care of myself, so i can make the team and bring glory to the school. after that, i can retire in peace, knowing that i've done my best. but alas it was not meant to be. illness struck me just when i was hitting form. and i realised about a month ago that the medicine that i was taking since december had a side effect of causing fatigue, which in the case of an endurance sport such as mine means its GGXXED for the taker. as such, i didn't make the team.
i'm really now having 2nd thoughts about whether to continue cross-country in jc or not. i was adamant about quiting in sec3. i was still determined to do so earlier in the year. currently, when the time for me to really make this irreversible decision is nearing, i get cold feet and start 2nd guessing my decision. and since i'm at it, i start second guessing most of the important decisions i'm going to make. as such i had quite a busy weekend. i know most of my batch-mates would not be continuing cross next year. but the fact is some would. i really don't know. i need time to think. about this. among other stuff. and the fact is i really don't have much time left.